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Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in
lieuminghueng's InsaneJournal:
| Friday, July 17th, 2009 | |
| 1:41 pm | Mom took me to the doctor this morning. The first appointment since they confirmed the pregnancy. I don't want to go to anymore. I don't know what I want. I feel like pulling all of my hair out and sleeping for a week straight. I'm tired of hearing what I should do and what I shouldn't do. It should be my choice, not theirs. They say I'm now in my 13th week and the second trimester starts next week. Whatever that means. I am looking this up online though. They gave me some pills to help with the nausea and vomiting again. They're not so bad. I also have to take these huge horse pills that are vitamins. Those make me want to puke too. I'm due in January and if I stay pregnant that seems like such a long time to keep doing this routine. They measured me. If I didn't feel fat before that, I did afterwards. I'm now not only hard in the stomach instead of of squishy but now I'm pooching out some. I need to go shopping. I've switched to the baggy clothes already but those will only last so long. There's too much to think about. Plus all the unwanted advice I'm getting from my parents. I'm tired of being overwhelmed. |
| Saturday, June 27th, 2009 | |
| 2:06 pm | Dinner was the single most horrific experience of my life. I doubt I'll ever forgive mom for the whole thing. Maybe she was a little jealous or something or maybe she did know and wanted to see if we'd admit it. she keeps texting me, like I'll give a shit. Apparently daddy now thinks I should go to the right doctor to be sure. Like the tests lie. Whatever. That way he can better assess the failure I am at being a good daughter. They haven't actually used embarrassment. But.. well, I know how they're feeling. Or at least I think I do. But do they have any idea how I'm feeling? Or do they care? I don't think they see it as something Tristan and I have to work out on our own. But it is. I know what the best thing would have been and it would have been nice to have discussed it and if we were to do it, to do it before they all found out. Now it's make your own decision but you know how our family is. And yet they're going to want to figure out a way to explain it to people. He can't very well have his daughter showing she's pregnant in school. So then what? One huge mess. And at the same time, I can't help but think if we did destroy the baby and have an abortion, what would that do to us? Would it bring us closer, keep our friendship, or would it tear us apart? And if not not then later on? And our families... oh god, our families.. they could see this as a way to unite our families, probably even in ways Tristan and I wouldn't maybe, or they could use this as a way to try to destroy each other somehow. And I hate that they could do that. Or that they would think they could do that. Fuck, I don't even know what I want. I've never really believed in abortion but now I'm standing her face to face with it and it doesn't look like such a bad idea. Unless it would hurt Tristan and I. Again that's just to please the families and all. What could it do to me though, having one? I don't know. And I don't know anyone with the experience to tell me either. I'm just confused. |
| Friday, June 12th, 2009 | |
| 3:52 pm | |
| Wednesday, May 6th, 2009 | |
| 1:28 pm | Who: Ming and Tristan What: Movie watching Where: Ming's house When: Tuesday night, around 7 Rating: PG-13 (language?) Status: Threading |
| Monday, May 4th, 2009 | |
| 11:58 am | Well I got to go to Homecoming anyway. A couple dances. An almost fight. My date running off. Though his replacement was much better. Just don't tell him that. He might get a swelled head. I enjoyed getting out of there too. Now I can at least say I went to my senior Homecoming and it was fairly interesting. Speaking of... My weekend was interesting, to say the least. Sunday I didn't do much of anything except go down to the warehouse with Daddy to make sure everything was set and ready for Monday. He's been acting a little... I don't know. Unusual, even for him. I think it's the important shipments that were set for Monday. I also ended up with my new favorite piece of jewelry this weekend. Pieces, I guess, technically. Might have to wear them all the time. They go with everything. I've let Tristan drive my car twice now and she's still in one piece. Which is good. Of course it's not like I haven't driven her fast. Definitely broke the speed record this weekend with her. Shhhh... But if she gets scratched, she can be fixed. I can't help that I like my car. I have an extreme liking for things that are fast. |
| Thursday, April 23rd, 2009 | |
| 3:48 am | Okay, I had to miss class but I still managed to get the homework assignment and get it done. |
| Tuesday, April 21st, 2009 | |
| 12:28 am | Application ( application ) |
| Monday, April 20th, 2009 | |
| 11:49 pm | [Tristan] I am so sorry I had to miss your birthday party. Father absolutely insisted that the whole family take this trip to the coast of Florida. [Tristan] I can't believe I had to be gone all weekend. I missed everything. And I hate that. I know family is important and all but you'd think they would have some clue how important school is. Or your friends at school anyway. Father did buy me the most awesome boots, made of crocodile skin to make up for it. And a very pretty matching shell necklace and bracelet set. And OMG, I can't believe it's almost time for Homecoming already! I'm so excited for that. The first major dance of the school year. And so close to Halloween. One of my favorite holidays. Along with Christmas, Valentine's day can be fun, the 4th of July.... Oh does anyone know what they're going to dress as yet this year? |